Three Unresolved Issues and a Wedding
by S. J. Iolanthe
Summary: This is my idea of season nine, Ted's last stand with Robin, meeting the mother, and some subplots with Marshall, Lily and Barney. Kinda funny, kinda sweet, kinda sad, I hope you all enjoy it.


**This story is my idea of season nine, Ted's last stand with Robin, and actually meeting the mother. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave your reviews, make 'em nice and long, I love reading them. :-)**

**This story is part of a contest with 'Moon Lantern', so it'd be great if you would read his story as well.**

* * *

The rain is pouring down onto the Farhampton train station and the clouded sky shows no signs of relenting. The station itself is plain enough, just a concrete platform and a canopy and a man sitting on wooden bench underneath it, reading his favourite book -_ Love in the Time of Cholera_ - for the umpteenth time.

The relative silence created by the drone of the rain is broken by the arrival of an elderly woman. She is plump in the way old people seem to get and her face is soft and warm, like the many baked goods she is well versed in making. She shakes out her umbrella and says, "You look like you're coming from a wedding. Was it a nice one?"

It's true, he does look like he's just come from a wedding, because in fact he has. He is wearing a tuxedo, slightly wrinkled from a full day of wearing, his bow tie is long since untied and now loosely hanging from the upturned collar of his white shirt, and there is a cream colored lilac pinned to his lapel.

"Ah," the man, Ted, begins. "It's a long story and - I don't mean to be rude but - I really don't feel like talking about it."

The elderly woman graciously nods, understanding how he feels, and takes out a magazine in hopes of completing the crossword she began yesterday. Thinking this was the end of their conversation she jumped slightly when he spoke again.

"It all started when the bride asked to see me."

_**10 hours earlier...**_

"Wow." Ted says, as he sees Robin Scherbatsky, the woman he has loved for years, in her wedding dress for the first time. She looks beautiful, her white dress it fitted at the waist down to her knees, where a flourish of lace fabric takes over, a silver belt wraps gently around her hips and sheer fabric covers her arms and the small corset of the dress. Her hair is held back by the white lace veil that is currently streaming down her back, while her fringe droops loosely to her left. Two short diamond earrings hang from her ears, and she wears a simple diamond bobble around her neck.

But the moment is bittersweet because he isn't the one she is marrying today. It aches at him at the back of his mind, a little part of himself screaming at him to leave, to go to Chicago right now, and never see her again. Never have to deal with the heart wrenching truth that she could never love him the same way that he loved her.

"Okay, don't sugarcoat it Mosby just give it to me straight." She says as she claps her hands together. "How bad is Barney freaking out right now?"

"Oh he's fine." Ted says nonchalantly, but the look that crossed Robins face said that she didn't believe him. "No I'm serious, he's totally fine." He lied. When he left Barney's room, Barney had had one leg out the window, shouting about a cornflower blue tie while Marshall and Lily were trying to wrestle him back into the room. "You may rest assured Barney Stinson is absolutely one hundred percent going through with this wedding." That much at least he knew was true. Barney may be scared to death of marriage, monogamy and commitment of any kind, but he loved Robin.

She breathed a sigh of relief, smiled and even giggled a little, "Good news." She said. "Um, just one small issue ah, I don't want to go through with this wedding." All the emotions that she had felt all day, all the doubts she had ever had, and all the fear she had felt since they began planning the wedding came out in those words. Tears welled in her eyes but dared not fall and ruin her makeup, and she looked with longing at Ted, as if he would have some way to get her out of this.

"Okay calm down." Ted said as he makes closer to her. "Everyone feels this way on their wedding day, it'll pass."

"No its more than that. I am having a serious crisis." Her voice faltered slightly as she blinked back the tears. "I wonder if it would be hard to climb out that window?" She asked, for the most part she was being rhetorical, but she had thought about actually doing it.

"Climbing out's easy. Climbing in, is the real challenge."

"Oh right, its the same window isn't it." Robin said, glad to have something else to think about.

"Yeah." Ted laughed, and there was a silence, where he knew Robin was thinking about Victoria, and what she had done on her wedding night.

Robin was still staring hopefully out the window when Ted spoke again a moment later. "I think I have something that's gonna make you feel a lot better." Her eyes darted toward him, wondering what he was talking about. She closed the space between them in an instant as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small red box tied with a white ribbon.

"What is it?" She asked as Ted handed her the present.

"Open it." He smiled.

She did, and when she did it was like time had stopped and in that one moment all that existed was Ted, Robin and her grandmother's necklace. Neither of them noticed when the box dropped to the floor, and neither of them seemed to care, Robin was holding her grandmother's locket, her something old, that she thought she would never see again, and Ted was watching Robin start to cry tears of joy. Her mascara was running down her cheeks now but she didn't care, she was too happy, and this was too perfect.

"Oh, Ted." She sniffled. "Where did you find it?"

"You found it really. You dug it up six years ago just before your move to Japan." Ted said cautiously, but he didn't know exactly why he was being cautious.

"That's right." Robin said. "I was really upset that..." Robin stopped herself. She had been upset that Ted was about to marry Stella and not her, but she couldn't let him know that, not now, not after everything that had happened. "... That the Toronto Maple Leafs didn't make it to the playoffs." She lied and quickly wrapped her arms around him to stop him from saying anything about her obvious lie - since everyone knew she was a Canucks fan.

"Thank you Ted." She whispered into his ear. "I love you." Then let him go.

Her words were meant to be kind, but they stung worse than anything else she could have said at that moment.

They both knew everything now, that Robin had wished Ted had married her three years ago, and that Ted Wanted to marry Robin more than he wanted his next breath. But they both let the sad lonely silence after the hug stretch on.

"Okay." Ted said loudly, trying to hide the wavering in his voice. "I should go... Rehearse my best man speech." He said as he walked towards the door, eager to get out of the room.

"I thought you had that done months ago?" Robin asked, confused and slightly nervous as she took off the necklace she was already wearing.

"Oh yeah uh, Barney actually gave me some notes on it. Said I should include some of his 'legendary' stories."

"Which one?" Robin asked just before Ted could slip away.

"I don't know, I was thinking about the time he got beaten up by a troop of girl scouts."

"Really? Not the time he flew to Las Vegas and fought that kick boxing kangaroo?"

"Ah, you know what, I thought about it, but I love telling people that Barney got beat up by little girls." He faked a laugh and quickly closed the door behind himself, hearing Robin chuckle just before the door clicked shut.

_**meanwhile...**_

"Barney, come on." Lily grunted as he finally pulled Barney in from the window.

"You're a lot... stronger... than... you look." Barney said, gasping for air with each breath.

"You lug a twenty pound kid and a ten pound diaper bag around all day and you can be ripped like me too." She said as she brushed off her pink bridesmaid's dress. "You're lucky you didn't rip my dress, then I'd really kick your ass."

"Please," Barney scoffed as he got to his feet. "You couldn't kick my ass."

Lily gave him her signature evil glare, and Barney cowered down low, putting his hands out to block his face.

"Look," Marshall said stepping in between the two. "As much as I would like to see my wife kick your ass - and I would really, really like to see it - you're getting married in an half an hour. Oh and your jacket's ripped."

'What?" Barney said looking frantically at his suit to find the rip. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He shouted when he finally found the small barely noticeable tear in the elbow.

"Barney man, calm down. You brought thirty other suits with you." Marshall said as he pulled the sliding door of the closet revealing well more than thirty suits, each in its own custom made 'Suit Case'. ('Suit Case' is a registered trademark of Stinson Enterprises. Patent Pending.)

"This was the perfect suit. Hand tailored by the finest Italian suit makers to fit me perfectly. It took two years to make and cost one hundred and fifty two thousand dollars."

"Barney I -" Lily began but was quickly cut off.

"I wasn't finished." Barney snapped. "The cashmere it was made from came from the Stinson Goat, a breed of goat that I paid a team of biologists to design and breed. And you," he said as he stared at Lily who now cowered from his glare. "In one foolish attempt to stop me from walking out on my wedding, destroyed it."

"Barney I'm sorry." Lily soothed. "But walking out on Robin would have been the biggest mistake of your life, and is do it again." There was a brief pause as the words sunk in. "Even if it meant ruining all the one hundred and fifty two thousand dollar hand bred Italian suits."

"There was only one." Barnet retorted in much the same way a stubborn child would.

"I'm sorry Barney is there anything I could do to make it better." Lily pleaded.

"Well..." Barney inflected heavily. "There is one thing, or should I say two things, that I've always wanted."

"You want to see my boobs again." Lily said as she began to pull down the bust of her dress.

"What? No!" Barney said disgusted, turning his head away and holding his hand out to cover Lily's breasts.

"Oh..." Lily said pulling her dress back up feeling embarrassed and slightly insulted. "There was a time when these two could stop traffic." She said under her breath.

"They still could sweetie." Marshall said putting a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders.

"I have Robin now and hers are the only breasts I want to see."

"Wow Barney, what a mature and mildly inappropriate thing to say." Marshall smiled.

For a moment no one spoke, and in that time the tone of the room turned from loving to suspicious.

"So what do you want?" Lily said breaking the silence but not cutting the tension.

"I'm glad you asked Lily." Barney began. "As you know, Marshall has two slaps remaining-"

"And you don't want me to slap you on your wedding day. Don't worry buddy I wasn't going to." Marshall interrupted.

"No." Barney said flatly. "Marshall has two slaps remaining, two slaps which he can dole out at any time. What I want is very simple Lily. I don't want Marshall to have those two slaps anymore, I want them."

"No." Lily said.

"Hell no." Marshall said much louder.

"Anyway it's against the rules." Lily continued.

"Okay, well I guess you could always pay me the one hundred and fifty two thousand dollars to replace the suit." Barney said evilly.

Lily looked toward her husband, who was standing two feet away with a look of horror painted across his face, and had one of their 'telepathic conversations'.

_What else are we gonna do? Between the baby and our move to Italy we've got no money._

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

_I don't like it any more than you, but it's not like we have any other options._

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

_Barney won't drag it out, he'll want to take his revenge instantly._

_That won't be it Lil', he'll taunt me for years. Keeping me in constant fear of being slapped. It'll be like his secret weapon, except... not a secret because he'll tell everyone._

_We co..._

_My cheeks Lil', my big round soft cheeks, all red and bruised and sore._

_We'll be in Italy, what will we care. You'll be safe for at least a year._

_Oh, yeah... Italy..._

Marshall quickly looked away and broke their connection. When he spoke again he did it out loud, just one word said meekly. "Okay."

"Yes!" Barney said clapping his hands together and punching the air, causing Marshall to flinch.

"Ha ha, this is gonna be fun." He said drawing back his hand as if to strike Marshall who thus time ducked for cover behind his wife. "Very fun." Barney said then he laughed his most maniacal, then began to stroke his right hand as if he was Dr. Evil and his hand was Mr. Bigglesworth. "Soon my pet." He soothed. "Soon you shall taste of the ripe plump flesh of Marshall's cheek." Then he began to laugh again.

Marshall gulped.

There was a very nervous silence in the room as Marshall visibly shook, and Barney continued to laugh and stroke his hand. But the silence was short lived, Ted came into the room in an unnecessary hurry. "Hey come on, just twenty five minutes till the... What happened in here?" Ted asked, his demeanor changing from lighthearted to serious in a split second.

"Barney..." Marshall began in his quiet depressed tone. "Barney got-"

"Two slaps!" Barney interrupted. "Barney got two slaps! Ted, Ted, Ted, watch this. Ted, Ted are you are you watching? Are you?" Barney said with the eager spirit of a seven year old. Then he raised up his right hand causing Marshall to flinch and bump into an end table, which in turn caused a small porcelain lamp to fall to the ground and shatter. "Right? Isn't that awesome?" He said to ted still smiling.

"Yeah, great." Ted said, obviously not sharing Barney's level of enthusiasm. "You know you're getting married in a few minutes right?"

"Just gotta change my suit." Barney said clapping Ted on the shoulder.

The door clicked shut, as all doors in the building seemed to do even if you slammed them with all your might. Barney crossed the room to the closet and pulled out one of his 'Suit Cases', and traded the jackets.

"What are you doing?" Marshall asked.

"It's the perfect suit. Do you really think I only had one made?" Barney said obnoxiously.

"You sonofabitch." Lily said as she slapped him full in the face, leaving a bright red handprint on his cheek. He turned back towards the pair of them and was promptly slapped a second time by Marshall, leaving a brighter redder handprint and even broke the skin just below his cheekbone.

"Ow!" Barney yelled from the floor.

"One slap remaining!" Lily cheered, with much of her lost happiness back in her voice.

"But that's not fair he didn't have any slaps!" Barney yelled from the floor.

"It looks like we need a ruling commissioner." Marshall said.

"Barney will get to keep his two slaps - since we did ruin a very expensive suit - and Marshall will get his two slaps back as well."

"But he only has one now right?" Barney asked in a panic stricken tone as he tried to stand up.

"No." Lily said to Barney's dismay. "You each have two slaps."

"Two slaps." Marshall said. "You know, I like the sound of that." He made a sudden move toward Barney who had still not gotten back to his feet, and he flinched severely.

"This, is gonna be fun," said Marshall as he and Lily walked out of the room.

* * *

Robin stood in the middle of her dressing room, looking at her reflection in the ornate full size mirror and clutching the silver locket that hung around her neck. She had been choking back tears for the past hour, but after seeing Ted the dams had burst and she was sobbing uncontrollably.

She still loved Ted, but she was no longer _in_ love with him. It made it hard seeing him especially today. She had thought about what it would be like to marry Ted so many times, and even though they wanted completely different things, forgetting those feelings was still difficult. Just as the sobs over took her again there was a knock at the door.

"Are you okay in there?" A quiet voice asked.

Robin sniffled and tried to speak but she couldn't.

"I'm coming in." The quiet voice announced. Then cautiously the door opened, revealing a small woman with chestnut brown hair, a wide smile and a small pointed nose, holding a guitar case. "Are you alright?" She asked, putting down the guitar case and moving closer to Robin.

Robin tried to say 'I'm fine.' but what actually came out was more of a high gurgling sound.

"Shhh, it's okay." The woman said as she put her arm on Robin's shoulder and sat her down onto a small couch. She took a kleenex from a box on the glass coffee table and handed it to Robin. "What happened?"

After she wiped her tears and caught her breath, when Robin was finally able to speak again she said, "It's... This guy. We used to date and... He's still in love with me, and it just makes it hard for me to move on. I mean, I want to get married, I love Barney, but it's hard to get over somebody when you see them everyday."

"I get it. I broke up with my boyfriend last week, and he works at the company I'm interning for." The woman said. "It's hard to move past our old relationships when it's so easy to slip back into the routine."

"Thanks." Robin sniffled. "You know I think you'd like Ted. You two just seem really similar. Just the way you... are."

"Thanks." The woman smiled. "Now let's fix your makeup."

Once she had fixed Robin's makeup the woman left again with a simple "See-ya," and a wave goodbye, but on the other side of the door there was a different sort of crying going on.

"Shhh, shhh," Marshall cooed, desperately trying to get his son to stop crying. "Everything's gonna be okay. Shhh."

Lily, in a bright pink dress and tears streaming down her face, was trying to feed baby Marvin his bottle but he wanted nothing to do with it, he was throwing the mother of all tantrums.

"Is everything okay?" The chestnut-haired woman asked as, for the second time today, she put her guitar case down to help a crying woman.

"No!" Lily whined through her tears. "He won't go down for a nap! He won't drink his bottle! He just keeps crying and I can't figure out what's wrong with him!" Lily had become nearly inaudible toward the end of her wailing.

"Can I see him?" The woman asked, and without even knowing who the woman was Lily was all too happy to hand her screaming child over to her.

The woman began to gently rock Marvin back and forth, while singing a french lullaby, and within seconds the kid was out like a light.

"Wow, how did you do that?" Lily asked.

"Oh, I just have a way with kids." The woman smiled as she handed the baby back.

"Do you have any kids of your own?" Asked Lily as she gently pressed her lips onto her baby's forehead.

"No." The woman responded. "But I've always wanted a child - two actually, a boy and a girl. And ever since I was young I've wanted to name them Luke and Leia."

Lily and Marshall exchanged a quick look.

"So uh..." Marshall began, but had to stop since he did not know the woman's name.

"Oh, I'm Erin." She said.

"So, Erin, what's in the case."

"It's a bass guitar. I'm with the band actually." She answered.

Lily and Marshall exchanged another look.

"What's your favourite book?" Lily asked.

"Oh that's easy," Erin said. _"Love in the Time of Cholera."_

Lily and Marshall exchange a third look.

"Are you seeing anyone right now?" Marshall asked.

"Actually I just broke up with my boyfriend."

"You're perfect!" Lily blurted out, causing baby Marvin to wake up and start crying again. She quickly handed him back to Erin and a few moment's later he had stopped again.

"Perfect for what?" She asked.

"Well we have this friend." Lily began.

"His name's Ted." Marshall interjected.

"Wow he must be a really great guy. This is the second time someone's tried to set us up today." Erin said with a hint of red in her cheeks.

"Oh he is, you'd love him." Lily said.

"You've got the same favourite book, you both like to play bass, you both even want to name your kids Luke and Leia! I don't know how much more similar two people could be." Marshall said.

"I'll think about it." Erin said. Then she picked up her bass and walked away.

"He'll be at the party." Lily called down the hallway.

"I said I'll think about it." Erin called back.

* * *

_Kids, this may surprise you, but Barney's wedding was actually pretty plain. He didn't ride down the aisle on a grizzly bear like he wanted to when he was planning his and Quinn's wedding. He didn't have some obscure celebrity perform the ceremony, just a justice of the peace. And no fireworks went off once he kissed the bride - besides the metaphorical fireworks between him and Robin. Its was just a normal wedding. In fact the only thing I remember about the wedding itself is the look in Robin's eyes when she said 'I do.' It was happiness in its purest and easiest form, a look of serene bliss. I still loved Robin, but that was the moment I realized that she didn't love me, at least not the same way I loved her._

_But everyone remembers what happened after the wedding._

* * *

Confetti cannons shoot out from the stage as Barney and Robin finish their first dance as a married couple, covered in sweat. Barney looks up at the cute girl playing bass guitar and winks at her.

* * *

_I'm getting ahead of myself. First let's back up a few weeks._

_You kids remember when I met Cindy on the train, and she told me that her former roommates band was free to play the weekend of the wedding? Well when I told Robin she was thrilled just to be passed the whole DJ vs Band debate, but Barney still wanted to hear the band play. So the next day we went to a show at a small club in Brooklyn._

* * *

"This place is a dive!" Ted shouts over the thundering boom of rock music that permeates out through the club and into the streets. It was a dark cold night in early April, but this was the only show the band had booked in New York this month, all their other shows were in New Jersey.

"Ted Evelyn Mosby!" Barney chastises as the take a small step closer to the door, though they are still at least twenty minutes from entering. "How dare you bad mouth the Black Soul. This place is a haven for hot twenty-two year old goth chicks. When I think back of all the... Actually it's probably best not to get too descriptive, not everything I used to do here was exactly legal."

There was a time when statements like this would make Ted wonder why he was friends with Barney but those days had long since passed.

"Why don't you see if you can bribe the bouncer?" Ted shouted over the boom of a bass drum.

And just like that Barney was gone, he discreetly handed the bouncer a bill and was instantly let through the door, Ted jumped to the front of the line to follow him through the door but was stopped by the seven foot four steroid infused bouncer. "Where d'you think you're goin'?" He said in a childlike voice that was no doubt the result of years of steroid abuse.

"Oh uh..." Ted stumbled. "I'm with him."

"You mean that beautiful blonde guy? Yeah no way. Who would ever believe he's gay?"

"No we're not gay we're just going to see the band together." Ted defended.

"You mean like, going to see the band on a date right?"

"No I mean..."

"Look sweetie," He large bouncer began.

"Sweetie?" Ted puzzled under his breath.

"Here's my number. Give me a call when your done chasing straight guys." He handed Ted a business card and parted the velvet rope to let him through.

"That was weird." Ted said to himself as he walked into the club.

The Black Soul was just like any other club in New York, packed to the walls with hot young singles, but here instead of being tan and wearing skimpy brightly coloured dresses, the people were chalk white and dressed only in black. Ted waded through the sea of cheap leather, body piercings and bad tattoos, to the bar where Barney sat watching the band and drinking a glass of what looked like blood.

"What was that?" Ted shouted but was not loud enough to be heard.

Then Barney's mouth moved but no sound came out, or at least none was heard. Then he passed Ted a second glass of the blood-like liquid Ted assumed was vodka and cranberry juice. The two of them sat at the bar listening to the all girl band play, and watching the goths 'dance' though it could more accurately be described as swaying slightly back and forth on the dance floor. The band was much better than either of them had anticipated, they knew a wide variety of songs and knew how to gauge the excitement of the audience and play the song that best fit the current mood.

The music stopped for a brief moment after the band had finished their set and Barney said, "I'm going to go ask them some questions." Then left, holding a large manila envelope in his hands. Ted got up to follow him but at the precise moment Barney left his seat a freakishly tall, gorgeous woman took his place.

She had milk white skin and was wearing a skimpy black dress that had been strategically cut in certain areas, leaving more of her skin revealed than covered, and a black lace choker with a ruby in the center. Her midnight black hair flowed down her shoulders in loose curls, and she wore enough eyeliner to make a raccoon jealous. She leaned towards Ted and whispered into his ear.

* * *

_I can't tell you kids this, your mother would have me killed._

_So anyway, I was about to leave with this girl when Barney came back._

* * *

"Hey Ted, let's go home." Barney said as he clapped a hand onto Ted shoulder.

"You're kidding right?" Ted asked sarcastically. "Can't you see I'm about to hook up?"

"No you're not she's way out of your league." Barney said very matter of factly.

"What do you mean no I'm not? We're leaving right now."

"No you're not."

"Wha- Barney." Ted started angrily. "C'mon," Ted whined, "I really wanna have freaky sex with this goth chick."

"No man left behind Ted. If I can't hook up you can't hook up, and I can't hook up."

"Oh that is so ridiculous." Ted said, overemphasizing each word. "Do you even know how many times you've left me stranded in strange clubs or weird parties or even once at the house of crazy asian family neither of us knew, and I don't know what they fed me but they had a whole bunch scared looking cats in wire cages! Just so you could hook up with random women most of whom were much less attractive than..." He stopped. "Sorry I didn't catch your name." He said to the goth woman who know that they were standing toward over him by nearly a whole foot.

"Lilith." The woman said through her blood red lipstick.

"Than Lilith!" Ted finished in a huff turning back to Barney. "Why is this such a big deal for you?"

"Because Ted..." Barney sighed. "This is what I did. For years this was who I was, this was my whole identity, and if I'm married then... Who am I?"

Ted's anger turned to sincerity in an instant. "You're the guy who gets to marry Robin Scherbatsky. You're the guy who gets to wake up next to her every morning, and fall asleep beside her every night. Do you know how lucky you are to be that guy? Do you know how many guys would kill to be in your position?"

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Barney asked.

The truth was Ted could not possibly be less okay with any of this. He was still hopelessly in love with Robin, but he'd had more than his fair share of chances, and he had failed every time. They were just too different. But still there was the painful throbbing love, always in the back of his mind. The nauseating, heart-wrenching, stomach churning feeling that they should somehow be together. She had become a physical necessity, something that he not only wanted but felt he had a right to.

"I'm sure Barney." The words burned in his mouth as he said them, the scalding heat of the lie steamed in the air. Even Barney knew the words for a lie, but it was not the lie that mattered. Ted had accepted that he and Robin would not and could not ever be anything more than friends, he had conceded his love for the sake of his friend's happiness.

"Now come on lets get out of here." Barney said, clapping Ted on the shoulder.

"But Barney," Ted complained as he was ushered out onto the cold dark New York streets. "I wanted to hook up with her."

"No you didn't."

"Why not?" Ted asked as Barney took a step onto the street and expertly hailed a cab.

"She's a transvestite."

"_What_?" Ted said shocked. "Are you sure?"

"Ted, she was seven feet tall."

"So what, women can be tall" Ted argued.

"She wore a choker to cover her adam's apple."

"Hey you don't know that. Chokers are in right now."

"Her hands were bigger than mine are."

"That still doesn't mean she -"

"What about the bulge under her dress. Does that mean she - ?"

It was pointless trying to argue, Barney was right, Lilith was a ...

An icy chill ran down Ted's back as he thought about what just moment ago he had wanted to do to a ...

The two men got into the cab - which was oddly enough not driven by Ranjeet, as all other cabs they had hailed in the past had been. "MacLaren's Pub." Barney told the driver. And before Barney had shut his door the cab was on the move.

"So what did you ask the band?" Ted asked as he pulled the seat belt down over his shoulder.

"I can't tell you." Barney said trying to keep an air of mystery about the subject.

"Why?"

"Because it's a secret Ted." Barney said in the slow speech he used when condescending to people. "And if I tell you it will no longer be a secret."

"Alright fine, keep your secret." Ted scoffed. Over the years he had learned how Barney's ego worked. If Barney thought Ted wanted to know the secret, he would hold all the power, but, if Ted acted like he didn't want to know the secret Barney would have no power over him and spill his guts in an attempt to take back control. But in a dramatically uncharacteristic new attitude, Barney did not react at all he simply sat there in a strange silence .

"Tell me!" Ted begged.

"No."

"Please!" He pleaded.

"No."

"Please please please!"

"No."

* * *

_This went on for much longer than it should have, and what's worse is that Barney still wouldn't tell me what he had asked the band. And in the end I'm glad he didn't because it made what happened at the wedding all the sweeter, and all the more funny._

* * *

Confetti cannons shot out from the stage as Barney dipped Robin down low and they finish their first dance as a married couple, covered in sweat. Barney looked up at the cute, brown-haired girl playing bass guitar and winked at her, and just as the first dance ends the second begins.

_"Met, you at the mall,"_ the soft angelic voice of the lead singer began, accompanied by the soothing tone of the piano and bass guitar. All throughout the room people who recognized the song are barely able to stifle their laughter.

"My song?" Robin said both confused and embarrassed to her new husband.

"I thought it could be our song now." Barney said placing both hands on his new wife's hips. She planted a single soft kiss on his lips then rested her head on his chest and they began to dance.

Other couples soon joined them; Robin's father and his wife Brandy, Barney's mother and her new boyfriend, Barney's father and his wife Cheryl, Marshall and Lily, even Patrice had found somebody. All the while Ted sat by himself at the bar, drinking a beer and watching all the happy couples. Then quietly, with no one but the bartender noticing he slipped out through the large glass door and headed for the train station.

_**now...**_

"... And that's it. Robin's married, and now I'm moving to Chicago." Ted said to the elderly woman, who - evidently - had fallen asleep while listening to the story.

The rain was still pouring down making it hard to hear anything. Ted looked to his left for the train but could not see it, he looked right but it was not there either, finally he looked left again, and for a moment he thought the bright yellow object he saw was the light from the train, but it was actually a canary yellow umbrella.

He thought for a brief moment about all his failed relationships, all the heartache he's sustained over the past eight years, but all that was pushed aside, something about this just felt right. It felt like... Destiny.

Ted stood up, tucked his book under his arm, took the cream coloured lilac from his lapel, and walked toward the yellow umbrella through the pouring rain. "Hi," he said loudly, struggling to be heard over the sound of the rain hitting the yellow umbrella. "I'm Ted." He held out his hand but quickly took it back when he realized that both of her's were full.

"So you're the famous Ted, that I've been hearing all about." The woman with the yellow umbrella smiled flirtatiously.

"This is for you." Ted smiled back as he pinned the lilac to her brown jacket.

"Thanks." The woman said. "My name's Erin. Erin Hayes."

"Ted Mosby." Ted said and held out his hand again causing them both to laugh.

"Is that_ Love in the Time of Cholera_?" Erin asked.

"Oh, yeah. It's my favourite book."

"Mine too." Erin said.

The loud horn of the oncoming train interrupted their conversation.

"This is my train." Erin said as the train came to a halt in front of them.

"I'm on the next one." Ted said sadly. "Do you think I could get your number?"

"Uhh," Erin hesitated. "Sure." She said then handed Ted her umbrella. Ted gave her his phone and she added her number to it.

"There." Erin said as she handed the phone back to Ted.

"Thanks." Ted said, then before Erin had even boarded the train he called her.

_"See the curtains hangin' in the window,"_ the music was coming from her purse.

"Is that Summer Breeze?" Ted asked.

"Yeah, it's one of my favourites." Erin smiled as she stepped onto the train. "See you Ted." She smiled and the train doors shut.

* * *

_And kids, _that's,_ how I met your mother._


End file.
